2001-2008
Home
Main
- About TFT
Friday Thing Archive
- Politics
- Media
- Culture and Society
- War On Terror
- People
- Places
- World
- Popped Clogs
- Music
- Books
- Film
- Etc
Help And Info
- Contact Details
- Advertising
- Jobs
- Privacy Policy
- XML Feed
Home > World

Recent Stories In World
Clean hands, dirty bastard
June 17, 2005
These days throw a rock into a room full of politicians and the chances are, the one you leave bleeding will also have published at least a couple of novels. Churchill and Hitler on the other hand, shared a passion for painting. Hitler also wrote poems. He was quite the aesthete. Oliver Cromwell meanwhile used to recite bawdy verse and dance about a bit, but only when he'd had a few ales. However, for all these dilettantes, only one politician has ever actually been physically transformed into a work of art. (Not counting the revolutionary Mussolini installation in 1946.) That privilege, we are pleased to report, goes to piano-playing ham and all-round villainous slime, Silvio Berlusconi
Psychos and monkeys
June 15, 2005
One interesting question: Would Gregory Despres have been allowed into America if, as well as enough weapons to fuck up a large and expensive nursery, he'd also had a beard and a turban?
Appropriate tools
June 15, 2005
This week the (US) Patriot Act - which in the super-exploitable paranoid panic that followed nineleven, was passed in great haste, unchallenged and mostly unread - is back in the news.
The TFT Guide To: Bush, Blair and Africa
June 15, 2005
Tony Blair has been desperately trying to get George Bush to act on the hideous problems facing the African continent, but Bush has been reluctant to raise aid spending and is wary of any project that the US doesn't control. So business as usual there. But if Blair and Bush do act on problems such as poverty, trade barriers and debts, what can Africa expect in the future?
Colorado Springs: And Jesus wept
June 4, 2005
Jennifer Bier is a private therapist in Colorado Springs, which is also the home of the USAFA. Bier currently faces arrest over her refusal to hand over confidential records of sessions with one of her clients to the US military. The sessions in question were those conducted with former Academy cadet Jessica Brakey, one of two female cadets claiming to have been sexually assaulted by 1st Lt. Joseph Harding in 1999 and 2000, while Harding was still in training.
Iraq: considerably worse than the office party
May 15, 2005
More grief in Iraq this week, as it was reported that there have been 67 bomb attacks in the last month. Foreign insurgents have been blamed, but as the battle for Fallujah suggested, Iraqis seem perfectly happy to do a bit of extreme bloodletting themselves.
America: The future is jumpsuit orange
March 14, 2005
If the above excerpt from an 18-year-old American high school student's short story about zombie mayhem had ever made it into the hands of a diligent Kentuckian English teacher, it would be positively chipper with censorious red ink. But it didn't. And the key-word here is 'American'. They read things differently there. This is the country remember, where the film title 'Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone' was deemed prohibitively highbrow. So perhaps it isn't surprising that William Poole's juvenile fiction has been taken rather more seriously than it oughta.
Gay Dust And Angry Wasps: The future of American warfare
January 23, 2005
At the close of last week came the shockingly risible news that the US Military had considered developing a biological weapon which when deployed, would not only make enemy troops question their sexuality, but would make them so wildly and sluttishly homosexual that they would immediately lay down their arms and start being gay with one another. Right there in the trench.
Our Boys In Iraq - Having A Gay Old Time
January 23, 2005
You can practically hear Geoff Hoon pleading with the army chiefs of staff: 'We're in enough trouble as it is. Don't let any of your lot fuck things up by raping some Iraqi woman. Can you put something in their tea?' What Hoon couldn't have guessed was that squaddies would get their kicks by getting Iraqi men to simulate bumming and blow jobs. And who can blame him?
The TFT Guide To: Doing your bit for tsunami relief
January 15, 2005
It's easy to feel powerless in the face of enormous natural disasters, especially if all you've done is sit in front of the telly wishing some more interesting news would come on - you know, something with a proper narrative, intrigue and a bad guy, like a good serial killer. But when you finally do get off your fat arse and drop 20p in a charity tin, how can you be sure you're helping as much as you can?
Astromonopoly
January 13, 2005
In November 1980, an unemployed ventriloquist called Dennis Hope lassoed the moon. Not literally of course, but legally, which requires more paperwork, but less rope.
Apocalypse Again
December 4, 2004
As of this week, napalm - one of the nastiest weapons known to mankind - is back. Or so it seems. And no-one appears to give that much of a damn. Tony Blair certainly doesn't. Oh well. Not to worry. A cunning combination of jet fuel and a polystyrene-based thickening agent, napalm is a kind of slow-burning super-flammable jelly which adheres to human skin as it burns and is nigh on impossible to extinguish. Apparently, it has a very distinctive smell. Depending on your point of view, it either smells like... victory, or like a cannibal's barbecue in clumsily-tended petrol station.
True faith
November 19, 2004
Until last week Steve Unfreid was the principal of the Matanuska Christian School in Alaska. Now he is out of a job and praying to God to show him what the hell to do with his life. Some might think this odd, considering it was God who told him to do that which got him fired in the first place, but not Steve. For Steve has faith. And faith moves mountains.
US Election Special: Are you ready for the war on vampires?
November 5, 2004
Probably the most sickening thing about the US election result is the way meaningless nonsense won it for Bush. Kerry won every debate, but Bush still managed to scrape overall victory using vague, sometimes unintelligible, emotional waffle.
The TFT Guide To... What else can go wrong in Iraq
October 29, 2004
Even Tony 'Righteous Brother' Blair must be having a few sleepless nights over Iraq. The occupation of Iraq seems to keep spiralling downward just when you think it's bottomed out on the lowest plateau of awfulness. Like The Princess Diaries. Kidnappings, car bombs, street fighting in Falluja - it's looking pretty grim (Iraq, not The Princess Diaries). But if, as seems entirely likely, things are going to get worse, what will happen?
Bribery: the Moore the merrier
October 8, 2004
This week the Michigan Republican Party did itself no favours whatsoever when it requested that prosecutors in four counties file charges of bribing the electorate against Michael Moore. Moore is currently on the 60-city, 20-state tour he has dubbed the 'Slacker Uprising Tour'; the idea being to persuade America's disaffected, apathetic youth to register to vote. In order to persuade, or indeed bribe them, Moore has been giving away free underwear and noodles to those who pledge to register. It's a gag, obviously. They're students and layabouts. They don't change their pants. They eat shit. But of course it's also very serious.
Meet the Christians of Pitcairn Island
October 1, 2004
If the young boys in Lord of the Flies had been joined by a gang of shipwrecked girls, they might have settled down, grown up and called themselves Pitcairners. Situated between Peru and New Zealand, adrift in the South Pacific, the British colony of Pitcairn Island is instead inhabited by the descendants of history's most celebrated mutineer, Fletcher Christian.
Remembering Nineleven
September 10, 2004
Tomorrow, as you may be aware, is September 11th, and to mark the anniversary of TTEOSE, Moffat has decided to have a whopping 3000 bits of metal stuck in his body. 3000 of course being the number of the dead. Well, more or less. What greater or more fitting tribute could the victims of the atrocities, and their grieving families, possibly hope for?
You've got to be in it...
September 3, 2004
Are you insane? Do you understand nothing? The whole point of the War on Terror is that it never *ever* ends. We made a big mistake with the Cold War, but with the fall of Communism we realised that our next boogie-man would have to be as vague as it was terrifying, as universally-applicable as it was specific-seeming. We knew we'd have to declare war on something which was endlessly renewable, and something with which we could easily tie in all of our other bigotries. We chose Terror. We're really rather clever you know. In a slightly Satanic way. And no, the War on Terror will never *ever* end.
The TFT Guide To... Arnie's America
September 3, 2004
This week Arnold Schwarz- enegger wowed the Republican convention by yet again rehashing lines from his films, claiming that an American soldier wounded in Iraq had told him 'I'll be back' and calling the Democratic convention 'true lies'. But what will America be like if Arnie's political career continues to soar?
The TFT Guide To... Drugs at the Olympics
August 20, 2004
It's the Olympics again, which over the years has become an artificial stimulant binge that makes Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas look as tame as a Junior Dispirin party. So what can we expect from this year's drug-fuelled games?
Avoiding another Nineleven: a commission suggests
July 23, 2004
Removing September 11th from the American calendar, replacing it with Freedomber 10+1th.
The TFT Guide To... The handover of Iraq
July 2, 2004
This week the US handed over control of Iraq to new prime minister, Ayad Allawi and new president, Sheikh Ghazi Ajil al-Yawar. So what will be the effect of the handover? TFT explains.
Let Freedom Reign: Those scribbled notes in full
July 2, 2004
TFT has learnt that the Freedom note was just one of several messages passed back and forth between the President and his National Security advisor during the Istanbul NATO summit. Here, exclusively, is the rest of the exchange.
WAWIBF... The Washington Moonies
June 26, 2004
The Reverend Sun Myung Moon was born in Korea on January 6th, 1920, and whether he was born dangerously insane or had dangerous insanity thrust upon him ten years later when his parents found Christ is impossible to tell. But one thing is for sure: by the time he was fifteen and Jesus appeared to him on a Korean mountainside, telling him to complete the construction of God's Kingdom on earth and bring peace to the whole of humankind, he was long gone.
George Bush: Declare and Contrast
June 18, 2004
Al Qaeda likes to hijack governments. Saddam Hussein is a dictator of a government. Al Qaeda hides, Saddam doesn't, but the danger is, is that they work in concert. The danger is, is that al Qaeda becomes an extension of Saddam's madness and his hatred and his capacity to extend weapons of mass destruction around the world. Both of them need to be dealt with. The war on terror, you can't distinguish between al Qaeda and Saddam when you talk about the war on terror. And so it's a comparison that is - I can't make because I can't distinguish between the two, because they're both equally as bad, and equally as evil, and equally as destructive.
WAWIBF... Adolf Fucking Milosevic
June 12, 2004
This week in Munich a bus driver called Slobodan Milosevic had his savings account frozen when bank officials assumed him to be the same Slobodan Milosevic who is currently on trial for war crimes and genocide in the Hague. Naturally bus-driver Milosevic has protested his innocence. He has been given a week to prove that he is not in fact the Serbian dictator. If he cannot do so, his savings will be seized for war reparations. 'I asked them if my name was Adolf Hitler would my account be frozen,' he said. 'But it didn't help.'
On watching the Abu Ghraib torture video
June 5, 2004
About a week back, I watched the short video of abuse in Abu Ghraib prison. The Washington Post has it on their site, only releasing a small portion of what they hold. I sat braced, forced myself to watch it.
The A-Z of Bush
June 5, 2004
George Bush is doing a fantastic job. Not of actually solving the innumerable problems of Iraq, but certainly of glossing over them. But you may have noticed a certain linguistic programming quality to George's choice of words recently. If you want to speak like George Bush (or have your own military misadventure to play down) you may want to try using the following words and phrases:
The TFT Guide To... Justifying yourself to the world's media
May 16, 2004
This week George Bush was lost for words when tossed an awkward question about why he failed to act on warnings about Al Quaeda attacks. So if you find yourself being grilled by the world's media about international terrorism and ill-conceived invasions of other countries, what should you say? TFT suggests:
Cruel and unusual PR
May 14, 2004
The rise and rise of the 'art' of public relations has a lot to answer for: factories becoming 'manufacturing facilities' (not oily and dirty and full of working class people, you see) and, more recently, the idea that American and British troops in Iraq are squeaky clean, strictly-by-the-book models of good behaviour. In fact we're surprised they haven't changed their title from 'soldiers' to 'peace facilitators'.
The TFT Guide To... Fake torture photos
May 14, 2004
It's looking increasingly likely that the Mirror's pictures of British troops torturing Iraqis are a hoax by TA soldiers, causing editor Piers Morgan to defend their authenticity with the unfortunate comment 'This is like, did they land on the moon?' Yup, the moon hoax conspiracy was total bollocks as well. But how can TFT readers tell the pictures are faked?
Shifting the goalposts: The only game in Baghdad
May 14, 2004
Supporters of the war in Iraq keep shifting the goal posts. When they can't shift the goal posts any further, they claim we should be on a different playing field - perhaps one where there aren't any goalposts at all.
Iraq: No gain without pain
April 30, 2004
For all the international media in Iraq and all the considered analysis coming from various serious-minded journalists, you can't help but feel we Brits have a basic lack of empathy for ordinary Iraqis. There's the unspoken suggestion that the occupation may be unpalatable, but it's good for them, like Quorn vegetarian mince. (The only meat substitute to be modelled on fried string.)
WAWIBF... Treason season
April 30, 2004
It must be a great life in the Secret Service. You get to do all kinds of fun pointless stuff. You get to travel around the world interviewing interesting people, sometimes arresting them, sometimes just frightening the life out of them. And if anyone ever asks you what you actually do for a living, you just pull down your shades and flash that, "I'd have to kill you" look.
WAWIBF... Re-writing history
April 24, 2004
It has been a hideous week for the utterly discredited 'Arab World Studies Notebook', which is a shame, because it has one of the snappiest titles this side of 'Applied Linear Statistical Models'.
The TFT Guide To... Iraq as the new Vietnam
April 9, 2004
It's been claimed that Iraq is Bush's Vietnam, which can surely only be good news for film makers planning to document the conflict. But how could Iraq be made even more like 'Nam?
Iraq: brand new bridges, same old faces
March 19, 2004
Last week it was announced that Bell Pottinger, the PR firm run by Margaret Thatcher’s former spin-guru Lord Bell, had won a contract to “sell” democracy to Iraq – one of the first major contracts awarded to a British company....
Why Star Wars is Not the Best Model for Foreign Policy
March 15, 2004
Nobody doubts the social significance of the franchise that is Star Wars. Younger readers may be interested to know that Star Wars was the Lord of the Rings phenomenon of its day. But aside from the impact it had on...
Hungry like a Big Wolf
March 5, 2004
French terrorists have been blackmailing their government this week by claiming to have buried bombs under the national railway line. The group call themselves AZF, but have been communicating with police via classified newspaper ads under the alias “Big Wolf.”...
Eat, Drink and Be Kerry...
March 3, 2004
John Kerry is riding high. He’s survived what could have been a brutal primary with nary a cross word, his statesmanlike face is on display every night on the US evening news, and both he and his closest challenger John...
Board Stupid
February 23, 2004
A British woman working as a tour rep at an Austrian ski resort is in intensive care after a snowboarding accident. Annie Ferrier, 24, from Norwich, was travelling so fast as she reached the bottom of the slope that the...
To live and die in Haiti
February 20, 2004
As the noose tightens, the officially “embattled” President of Haiti, Jean-Bertrand Aristide, is suddenly full of gallows wisdom: "I am ready to give my life if that is what it takes to defend my country," he declared, he chin set...
Dead Kid On The Block
February 17, 2004
It’s all been kicking off in Sydney. About 40 police officers were injured by rioters protesting about the death of 17-year-old Thomas Hickey, who died after a police chase. Or who didn't die after a police chase. Depending upon...
Fucked & Bombed
February 12, 2004
Globe-trotting Tom Parkinson examines the trail of bomb blasts that he has left in his wake, and wonders if he is the root of all evil...
France uncovered
February 10, 2004
Why would forcing a young Arab girl or Jewish boy to change school in order to preserve their religious traditions do anything other than increase division, hatred and distrust?
Tiger Round-Up
February 1, 2004
Russian Crisis: The Amur tiger, named after the major river that runs through the region, is threatened with extinction, with only 450 remaining in the Vladivostok area. Amur tigers have been hard hit by deforestation in the taiga, their natural...
It's a caucus, stupid
January 23, 2004
Robert Mackey in New York on why caucuses don't amount to a hill of beans and why we shouldn't underestimate the stupidity of the American electorate.
State of the Union Blues
January 21, 2004
The doors at the back swung open, necks craned, and the honourable members of Congress clucked and preened like a coopful of simpering hens waiting for the rooster. And they were not disappointed. In he came: Foghorn Leghorn. “I say,...
Out for the count?
January 20, 2004
With Democrat presidential hopeful, Howard Dean being trounced in the Iowa Caucuses by rivals John Kerry and John Edwards, things are not looking good for the blogger's friend.
Lost in space
January 16, 2004
In space no one can hear you... losing the war in Iraq, not finding weapons of mass destruction, torturing Reuters journalists, taking away 'homeland' civil liberties...
Apres le Deluge
January 13, 2004
The IT capital of the Pacific is under threat from a very untechnological menace: the cyclone. South seas correspondent Jon Harwood looks at what's next for Niue.
Please nominate this man
January 12, 2004
Why is the Bush campaign so keen for Howard Dean? And if they're so sure he's unelectable, why don't they shut up and let him get nominated? by Robert Mackey in New York.
WAWIBF: Mahatma Coat
January 9, 2004
Hillary Clinton - everybody's favourite ex-First Lady after Nancy Reagan, Barbara Bush, Eleanor Roosevelt, Martha Washington et al. - this week apologised for joking that Mahatma Ghandi used to sell petrol for a living. The gaffe came during a speech...
Blair in 2004?
January 8, 2004
One man's quest for a president who can actually speak.
Fitting Footprints
January 8, 2004
The memorial for the Twin Towers site has been chosen: two square pools (marking the 'footprints' of the collapsed towers) and some trees. The name of the memorial: 'Reflecting Absence'. A slightly wet name, but a pleasant enough design: The...
The TFT People Of 2003
December 31, 2003
We had planned to wrap up 2003 with an 'LNR Person of the Year' award, nominating someone who is, in reality, totally unsuitable for the title. But unfortunately Time Magazine beat us to it.
The world vs. Colonel Gaddafi: What's their beef?
December 21, 2003
Colonel Muammar Gaddafi is one of the world's most instantly recognisable leaders - and yet how much do we really know about him? This much.
Exiled to Acton
December 20, 2003
How did Afghanistan get in such a bloody mess? Rumour reached us of a high-ranking Afghan living in exile in Acton, West London. So we put Michael Wale on the no. 207 bus out of Shepherd’s Bush to find General Safi and ask him what went wrong.
Does Not Compute
December 20, 2003
George Bush Jnr spells out his philosophy: "I have come to realize this job is a magnificent job because you have a chance to use the position of the United States of America to achieve peace and freedom. And that...
Pope on the ropes
December 19, 2003
The Pope is on the wane. This week he was officially described as 'shrunken', 'faded' and, rather poignantly, 'more dried apricot now than man'. Now he rarely moves of his own accord and his voice when it emerges is little...
All the news that didn't fit
December 19, 2003
Amid all the talk of spider holes and school-age girlfriends, there are a few news stories you may have missed this week.
Going Underground: the Search For Saddam TV movie
December 14, 2003
That entirely speculative cast list, in full.
Has somebody been at the Bristol Cream?
December 12, 2003
Scientists discover the shadow of a giant reindeer passing across the surface of the sun. And they say August is the silly season...
Russia vs. Chechnya: What's their beef?
December 11, 2003
As Russia blames its recent terrorist attacks - including the Moscow bomb that killed six people this week - on Chechen rebels, LNR asks; what exactly is their beef?
The war on tourism
December 5, 2003
If you’re planning a trip to the United States next year – maybe to launch an attack on a pillar of Western hegemony or to pick up a cheap iPod – you might like to know that the level of threat you pose to the American way of life will now be scored, colour-coded and assessed before you board the plane.
Private income
December 5, 2003
Retired admiral and famed computer nerd John Poindexter has quietly left his job developing unpopular ‘data mining’ systems for the Pentagon’s Office of Information Awareness. We may never see his like again.
I’ve put you down for Rugby and singing in the choir
December 5, 2003
Griff Rhys Jones is starting to feel his roots.
Yellow Alert
December 5, 2003
In September America’s Showtime network – a cable channel owned by the same company that owns CBS News and MTV – celebrated the second anniversary of T.T.E.O.S.E. with a ‘docudrama’ called DC 9/11:Time of Crisis. But reality TV it wasn't.
Should I put the giant snake on my head?
December 5, 2003
America is a scary country, but I had nothing to fear from my yoga teacher. If there is a cult of Rusty, it commands nothing more than honest self-expression, writes Jason Thomspon in San Francisco.
Jeffrey Murr: poor fella, he never knew what hit him
November 29, 2003
Sometimes it's hard to be a Klansman, giving all your love to just one race.
Crisis, what crisis?
November 28, 2003
A muppet called Kami has come to save us all from AIDS. Good luck, Kami.
Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid
November 15, 2003
Due to the staggering failure of WMD inspections to support American military action, the CIA have decided to shift the goalposts.
Kissing People Is Wrong
November 15, 2003
Tatyana Maximova hates kissing so much she wants it banned. What a nasty, cold-hearted lady!
Fancy coming upstairs for a bit of Section 377?
November 14, 2003
Last Thursday in Singapore a man called Annis Abdullah was jailed for two years for allowing (or maybe even encouraging, who knows?) a young woman to suck his penis.
War On Tigers: Update
November 14, 2003
Are you with us or against us?
MicroVote, Diebold: no, no, you carry on
November 13, 2003
More private companies, more gremlins in elections. If "e-voting" doesn't inspire confidence in the electorate, it is a failure. There's certainly trouble afoot. Here's an idea.
McJob means a bad job and it's derived from McDonalds burger chain
November 12, 2003
McDonalds are getting their knickers in a twist agian about people saying "McJob". Diddums. Allow us to explain what a dictionary is.
Diebold as brass
November 5, 2003
Might the heart of democracy - the election - die on his feet because private companies can't admit when their voting machines don't work?
WAWIBF: Punters
November 4, 2003
Are you a crawler of kerbs? Do you hunger for the love that dare not ask for a receipt? Well, good news: there is a new telephone service just for you...
They would call, then hang up giggling
November 4, 2003
At home he was a borderline obsessive-compulsive neat freak who would spend hours vacuuming a corner. He drank gallons of vodka but wouldn’t eat anything but porridge with jam in the shape of a smiley face. Kristi Luik on her Estonian rock star boyfriend.
Off They Go
November 3, 2003
An openly gay Bishop is ordained in New Hampshire and the Anglican Church flies apart at the seams. Much like the trousers of Bishop Robinson's boyfriend in the urgent commission of sin, writes Charlie Skelton.
Two go mad in Kabul
November 3, 2003
My friend Sam made the point that if I was going to write a play slagging off the Western media for looking away from Afghanistan then I shouldn’t look away from Afghanistan myself. In fact, really, I should see it in the flesh. So two weeks later we were on the plane to Kabul, writes Henry Naylor.
WAWIBF: Nguyen Thi Thu H
November 2, 2003
How many men do you suppose have their penises hacked off by their wives or girlfriends every year? And how many of those men kind of had it coming?
A guy named Satan
October 31, 2003
President Bush, the newly-crowned Islamophile of the year, has been quick to distance him from religiously charged remarks made by General Boykin - one of the Pentagon's most senior officers. And biggest nutjobs.
Scorchio!
October 31, 2003
Fire is pretty. Even when it's burning down your house...
WAWIBF: Alparslan Yigit
October 22, 2003
The drunken Turk and the wise old Judge. A tale of our time.
Vive La France
October 3, 2003
Obviously the French are awful and rude and cycle around with brie dripping out of their pockets and eat sparrows for breakfast, but they are currently doing one thing right: they are standing up to the US, writes Charlie Skelton.
I want to be a Walmart of it
October 3, 2003
Last month, for a cool $166 million, the Big Apple officially became the Big Snapple.
"I'll be front"
October 3, 2003
Arnold Schwarzenegger, favourite to become Governor of California. To be put in charge of the world's fifth largest economy. Arnold Schwarzenegger. Ummm, it's a joke, right? Hello...? Why won't anyone answer?
Spread A Little Love
October 2, 2003
In response to a suicide bomb which killed 19 people in an Israeli restaurant, Israel has launched a bombing strike on a target near Damascus. It's the first Israeli attack so deep inside Syrian territory since the 1973 war.
Shuttle Immunity
October 1, 2003
Since last summer, American officials have been fanning out across the globe, attempting to ink bilateral immunity agreements with friendly governments in an effort to undermine the first attempt to create a system to enforce international war crimes law.
Drool drool drool drool
September 19, 2003
The Dead Kennedys and Francesco Urbini.
Jennifer Otis: Beyond 9-11
September 12, 2003
An American artist talks to us about her response to September 11th. And about some other stuff too.
Is this a dagger...?
September 12, 2003
Should we bother trying to engage with the world of politics and power, or just say goodbye to the last vestiges of democracy? (We'll put the kettle on and make a nice cup of tea while you decide).
Boris Johnson's dirty love
September 11, 2003
This week Berlusconi is rumoured to have had colonic irrigation in an attempt to remove the last vestiges of Boris Johnson's tongue from his majestic statuesque multi-billion-dollar arse.
Hasta La Politica Baby: An American Writes
August 14, 2003
The whole Schwarzenegger candidacy is about getting Republicans elected who seem to be socially moderate, but in their fiscal conservatism make it completely impossible for the US government to have any money left to do anything, writes Robert Mackey
And the moral of this story is...?
August 9, 2003
A plucky sixy-year old hospital cleaner takes on the system! (And loses).
It's the end of the world as we know it (and I feel hot)
August 8, 2003
Of all the big issues the environment is the easiest one to forget about - like Michelle Williams out of Destiny's Child...
Wash your mouth out with soap!
August 1, 2003
A youngster from Colorado causes a rumpus on a campus with his rudeness.
Sierra Leone: when did it jump the shark?
August 1, 2003
For for most of us, Sierra Leone is a byword for teenage nutcases with AK-47s hacking people’s limbs off with machetes. But it wasn't always thus.
Liberia: what a mess.
July 26, 2003
The poorest country on the earth, ravaged by war and corruption - oh, and apparently there's a cholera epidemic just round the corner...
Corisca vs. the French: What's their beef?
July 19, 2003
Corsica has it all: an azure sky, lofty peaks, wild valleys, sheltered inlets, secluded beaches, olive trees, and an undying hatred of the French.
Sit him down and give him a cup of tea
July 18, 2003
Gilbert Walker is driven to madness by drink. The drink in question being jasmine tea.
You Know What Monsanto Can Go And Do To Itself?
July 13, 2003
Their entire company strategy is built upon patents, ownership, and rights: it's no wonder Monsanto are so litigious.
Santa Claus is coming to town
July 11, 2003
Millions are dying as a result of the ugly battle between HIV/AIDS funding and military funding.
An Italian writes...
July 11, 2003
Do remember: with regard to many of the most important questions in life, Italy is way way way ahead of Britain. So stop being so smarmy and superior. Although yes, we admit, we might be one or two thousand years behind when it comes to the small matter of religion...
America vs. Iran: What's their beef?
July 11, 2003
Does Iran merit its status as one of the top three 'rogue states'?
God Sucks
July 11, 2003
A meditation on the deaths of Laden and Laleh Bijani, the Iranian co-joined twins who died after efforts to separate them failed.
The joys of being an Estonian wife
July 10, 2003
You get to live in Estonia, and you carried around an assault course by your husband, with your face pressed against his hurrying buttocks. What more could you want?
Dumb Britain
December 6, 2002
This week's ban on British beef by France caused something of a problem for our nation's red-top tabloids, writes Paul Carr.
Back and To The Left
October 15, 2002
Adventures with the Beltway Sniper. By Charlie Skelton and Paul Carr in Washington D.C.
Israel: A personal view
May 5, 2002
Like most totally assimilated, middle class, middle aged, middlebrow, medium-sized, left-leaning Jews (which is most of us), I am always the first to say "Where's the tomato ketchup, boy".
Chemical weapons: A handy guide
April 13, 2002
Compare and contrast.
Rudolph Giuliani: This is your career
February 6, 2002
Lest we forget.
Knock yourself out, George
January 13, 2002
You couldn't make it up. Or could you?

 ABOUT THE FRIDAY THING
Bad words ahead The Friday Thing is a weekly email comment sheet. Casting a cynical eye over the week's events, it is rarely fair and never balanced.

A selection of articles from each week's issue appear online, but to enjoy the full Thing, delivered by email every Friday - as well as access to almost five years of back issues - you'll need to subscribe. It's absolutely free.

READERS WRITE
"Razor-sharp comment and gossip." - The Sunday Times

"Hilariously cynical..To describe it as 'irreverent' is to do the newsletter an injustice." - The Observer

"Sharp, intelligent, opinionated, uncompromising and very, very funny. Just like 'Private Eye' used to be." - Alec McKelland

"Wicked" - Channel 4

"Ace" - Time Out

"'We rise once again in advocacy of The Friday Thing. We realize that some of you may be unwilling to spend [your money] on plain-text comment, but you're only depriving yourself." - The Minor Fall, The Major Lift

"Subscribing to this at the beginning of the year was undoubtedly one of the better decisions I've made. Superlative, and utterly marvellous. I look forward to Fridays now, because I can't wait for the next issue. Fucking fucking brilliant." - Meish.org

"Featuring writers from The Observer, Smack The Pony and The 11 O'Clock Show... will continue to attract new subscribers sight unseen" - NeedToKnow

"The Friday Thing is so good it's stopping me from doing a bunk of a Friday afternoon." - Annie Blinkhorn (The Erotic Review)

"So now" - The Evening Standard

"Damn it, you rule. May you never, ever back down." - Paul Mayze

"Ace" - PopJustice

"Snarky" - Online Journalism Review

"Can you please stop making me laugh out loud... I'm supposed to be working, you know!" - Tamsin Tyrwhitt

"Your coverage of stuff as it spills is right on the money." - Mike Woods

"Popbitch with A-Levels." - Tim Footman

"In an inbox full of trite work-related nonsense, TFT shines from under its subject heading like the sun out of Angus Deayton's arse." - Nikki Hunt

"A first rate email. It's become an integral part of my week, and my life would be empty and meaningless without it (well, *more* empty and meaningless anyway)." - Mark Pugh

"Genius, absolute bit of class. And you can quote me on that." - Lee Neville

"If you're hipper than hell, this is what you read." - MarketingSherpa

"The most entertaining email I've had all week. Great tone." - Matthew Prior

"A massive and engrossing wit injection." - idiotica.co.uk

"I wouldn't know satire if it bit me on the arse. But I did like the Naomi Campbell joke." - Matt Kelly (The Mirror)

"Has had an understandably high profile among people who know about these things." - Guy Clapperton (Guardian Online)

"Satirical sideswipes at the burning issues of the day." - Radio 5 Live

"Puerile and worthless... Truly fabulous... Do read the whole thing." - Stephen Pollard

© The Friday Thing 2001-2008 - All Rights Reserved