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Home > World

Knock yourself out, George

You couldn't make it up. Or could you?

13 January 2002

Usually when someone turns up at work with a black eye, the classic "I walked into a door" excuse is trotted out. But not even the Great American Public would be fool enough to swallow that one.. Well, OK, but the rest of the world might be a bit suspicious.

So what do we get instead? Some cockamamie non-sense about pretzels, football games and remembering what your mom used to say - a guaranteed winner with the yokel electorate - spiced up with a bit of medical double talk in the form of 'vasovagal syncope' to keep the city folk happy.

All very fishy. Although, come to thing of it, we hope the pretzel story is true - especially when you consider the far more worrying alternatives:


1) He was drunk. Confirming all our worst fears, he finally fell off the wagon and into the toilet bowl.

2) Despite claims that he is not stressed or overworked (Why not? There's a fucking 'war' on, for Christ's sake.), he is in fact at death's door, physically as well as mentally incapacitated.

3) The First Lady finally cracked under the strain of being married to the world's dumbest man - and twatted him one.


Better than any of these alternatives then, a 'truth' so ridiculous it couldn't possibly be doubted - plus a bit of folksy nonsense, repeated word for word in five different press conferences. Result: Dubya is more popular than ever! God bless America!



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