2001-2008
Home
Main
- About TFT
Friday Thing Archive
- Politics
- Media
- Culture and Society
- War On Terror
- People
- Places
- World
- Popped Clogs
- Music
- Books
- Film
- Etc
Help And Info
- Contact Details
- Advertising
- Jobs
- Privacy Policy
- XML Feed

Home > World

And the moral of this story is...?

And at night, Sophie, when the darkness comes, can you still taste it?

9 August 2003

This week, 60-year-old hospital cleaner Sophie Matala was informed by the Pretoria High Court that her claim for emotional shock and medical expenses was so late and so laughable that she would not be receiving a brass bean.

Three years ago she sat down to lunch with colleagues at the Medfordum Hospital as usual. The dish of the day was goulash. She tucked in. Mmmm. Then she found herself chewing on an inedible piece of meat. She took it out of her mouth, wiped it with a serviette and placed it in the palm of her hand for inspection. It was supposed to be beef, but it didn't look like beef. She showed it to a male colleague who recognised it at once. ‘That’s a piece of someone’s cock, love,’ he declared, roaring with laughter.

Odd really. Not the fact of having genitals in your canteen lunch - that must happen all the time - but the fact that the piece of penis in question was so easily identifiable. It must have been the glans. Helmet intact. Eye and all. Imagine it, slightly chewed by Sophie herself, winking up at her from her hand. Hospital authorities confirmed that the meat was part of a 'male sex organ', but because it had been cooked and chewed, they couldn't be sure whether it was from an animal or from a human being. What the fuck kind of hospitals do they have in South Africa?

As a consequence, Ms Matala vomited all afternoon, missed two days work, became vegetarian overnight and can no longer sleep in the same bed as her husband.

The moral? There isn't one.


More questionable morality:

www.larryflynt.com/national_prayer_day.html



Comment on this article: letters@thefridaything.co.uk

Subscribe to The Friday Thing for free


 ABOUT THE FRIDAY THING
Bad words ahead The Friday Thing is a weekly email comment sheet. Casting a cynical eye over the week's events, it is rarely fair and never balanced.

A selection of articles from each week's issue appear online, but to enjoy the full Thing, delivered by email every Friday - as well as access to almost five years of back issues - you'll need to subscribe. It's absolutely free.

READERS WRITE
"Razor-sharp comment and gossip." - The Sunday Times

"Hilariously cynical..To describe it as 'irreverent' is to do the newsletter an injustice." - The Observer

"Sharp, intelligent, opinionated, uncompromising and very, very funny. Just like 'Private Eye' used to be." - Alec McKelland

"Wicked" - Channel 4

"Ace" - Time Out

"'We rise once again in advocacy of The Friday Thing. We realize that some of you may be unwilling to spend [your money] on plain-text comment, but you're only depriving yourself." - The Minor Fall, The Major Lift

"Subscribing to this at the beginning of the year was undoubtedly one of the better decisions I've made. Superlative, and utterly marvellous. I look forward to Fridays now, because I can't wait for the next issue. Fucking fucking brilliant." - Meish.org

"Featuring writers from The Observer, Smack The Pony and The 11 O'Clock Show... will continue to attract new subscribers sight unseen" - NeedToKnow

"The Friday Thing is so good it's stopping me from doing a bunk of a Friday afternoon." - Annie Blinkhorn (The Erotic Review)

"So now" - The Evening Standard

"Damn it, you rule. May you never, ever back down." - Paul Mayze

"Ace" - PopJustice

"Snarky" - Online Journalism Review

"Can you please stop making me laugh out loud... I'm supposed to be working, you know!" - Tamsin Tyrwhitt

"Your coverage of stuff as it spills is right on the money." - Mike Woods

"Popbitch with A-Levels." - Tim Footman

"In an inbox full of trite work-related nonsense, TFT shines from under its subject heading like the sun out of Angus Deayton's arse." - Nikki Hunt

"A first rate email. It's become an integral part of my week, and my life would be empty and meaningless without it (well, *more* empty and meaningless anyway)." - Mark Pugh

"Genius, absolute bit of class. And you can quote me on that." - Lee Neville

"If you're hipper than hell, this is what you read." - MarketingSherpa

"The most entertaining email I've had all week. Great tone." - Matthew Prior

"A massive and engrossing wit injection." - idiotica.co.uk

"I wouldn't know satire if it bit me on the arse. But I did like the Naomi Campbell joke." - Matt Kelly (The Mirror)

"Has had an understandably high profile among people who know about these things." - Guy Clapperton (Guardian Online)

"Satirical sideswipes at the burning issues of the day." - Radio 5 Live

"Puerile and worthless... Truly fabulous... Do read the whole thing." - Stephen Pollard

© The Friday Thing 2001-2008 - All Rights Reserved