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Home > World

And the moral of this story is...?

And at night, Sophie, when the darkness comes, can you still taste it?

9 August 2003

This week, 60-year-old hospital cleaner Sophie Matala was informed by the Pretoria High Court that her claim for emotional shock and medical expenses was so late and so laughable that she would not be receiving a brass bean.

Three years ago she sat down to lunch with colleagues at the Medfordum Hospital as usual. The dish of the day was goulash. She tucked in. Mmmm. Then she found herself chewing on an inedible piece of meat. She took it out of her mouth, wiped it with a serviette and placed it in the palm of her hand for inspection. It was supposed to be beef, but it didn't look like beef. She showed it to a male colleague who recognised it at once. ‘That’s a piece of someone’s cock, love,’ he declared, roaring with laughter.

Odd really. Not the fact of having genitals in your canteen lunch - that must happen all the time - but the fact that the piece of penis in question was so easily identifiable. It must have been the glans. Helmet intact. Eye and all. Imagine it, slightly chewed by Sophie herself, winking up at her from her hand. Hospital authorities confirmed that the meat was part of a 'male sex organ', but because it had been cooked and chewed, they couldn't be sure whether it was from an animal or from a human being. What the fuck kind of hospitals do they have in South Africa?

As a consequence, Ms Matala vomited all afternoon, missed two days work, became vegetarian overnight and can no longer sleep in the same bed as her husband.

The moral? There isn't one.

More questionable morality:


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