2001-2008
Home
Main
- About TFT
Friday Thing Archive
- Politics
- Media
- Culture and Society
- War On Terror
- People
- Places
- World
- Popped Clogs
- Music
- Books
- Film
- Etc
Help And Info
- Contact Details
- Advertising
- Jobs
- Privacy Policy
- XML Feed

Home > World

Jeffrey Murr: poor fella, he never knew what hit him

Poor old Jeffrey. He was only trying to do his bit to protect the master-race from being swamped by tainted bloodlines...

29 November 2003

Initiation ceremonies suck. Whether they are for some sad American High School Frat, the territorial army or the Bilderberg Group, their sole objective is to ascertain that the initiate has a vast enough lack of self-esteem that he or she (usually he) will tolerate physical and/or mental torture in order gain the acceptance, and logo-emblazoned paraphernalia, of a bunch of seemingly-powerful sadists.

Anyway, the Ku Klux Klan was formed in 1865, the same year as the Emancipation Proclamation was proclaimed, although it is said that the two events were not connected. At inception, the KKK was not a racially-prejudiced hate-fuelled lynch-mob, but rather a sort of kindly social club in Pulaski, Tennessee. A harmless fraternity for bored, bone-idle, wealthy ex-Confederates. However, within a couple of years, it had expanded dramatically and transformed itself into a racially-prejudiced hate-fuelled lynch-mob. A paranoid army, terrified that the newly-liberated black hordes were going to wreak bloody revenge on White America.

And so, realising what was afoot, the goodly men who’d set out for a bit of cliquey innocuous amusement, officially disbanded the KKK in March of 1869. Sadly, the new Klansmen were having far too good a time torturing and killing black people to heed the word of the Grand Wizard. So they continued torturing and killing. And they thrived.

Today it’s a little different. The blind eye or tacit encouragement given to the torturing and the killing has for the most part stopped, and America’s 200-plus separate Klan chapters tend nowadays to give their hate and fear a little spin. Why, some of them even prefer to call it love. Love of God’s Chosen White Race. Strange, stupid, redneck American sub-humans. This week, during an initiation ceremony, someone got shot in the head.

The initiation ceremony consisted of the initiate being blindfolded, stretched to his tiptoes by a noose round his neck and then fired with paintballs. As the paintballs rained down, Klansman Gregory Freeman fired a real gun into the sky, so as to further terrify the initiate. But, whether Freeman was aware of it or not, bullets come down, and one of these falling bullets found the head of fellow Klansman, Jeffrey Murr. The bullet entered Murr’s head just above his forehead and exited at the base of the skull. Fortunately it still managed to miss his brain
by a good three inches.

God Bless White America.


Klan Training:

www.sandiegohistory.org/journal/00summer/images/mother.jpg

More Washington County Chapter Antics:

www.post-gazette.com/localnews/20030214grenadereg5p5.asp

www.kkk.com/activity.htm



Comment on this article: letters@thefridaything.co.uk

Subscribe to The Friday Thing for free


 ABOUT THE FRIDAY THING
Bad words ahead The Friday Thing is a weekly email comment sheet. Casting a cynical eye over the week's events, it is rarely fair and never balanced.

A selection of articles from each week's issue appear online, but to enjoy the full Thing, delivered by email every Friday - as well as access to almost five years of back issues - you'll need to subscribe. It's absolutely free.

READERS WRITE
"Razor-sharp comment and gossip." - The Sunday Times

"Hilariously cynical..To describe it as 'irreverent' is to do the newsletter an injustice." - The Observer

"Sharp, intelligent, opinionated, uncompromising and very, very funny. Just like 'Private Eye' used to be." - Alec McKelland

"Wicked" - Channel 4

"Ace" - Time Out

"'We rise once again in advocacy of The Friday Thing. We realize that some of you may be unwilling to spend [your money] on plain-text comment, but you're only depriving yourself." - The Minor Fall, The Major Lift

"Subscribing to this at the beginning of the year was undoubtedly one of the better decisions I've made. Superlative, and utterly marvellous. I look forward to Fridays now, because I can't wait for the next issue. Fucking fucking brilliant." - Meish.org

"Featuring writers from The Observer, Smack The Pony and The 11 O'Clock Show... will continue to attract new subscribers sight unseen" - NeedToKnow

"The Friday Thing is so good it's stopping me from doing a bunk of a Friday afternoon." - Annie Blinkhorn (The Erotic Review)

"So now" - The Evening Standard

"Damn it, you rule. May you never, ever back down." - Paul Mayze

"Ace" - PopJustice

"Snarky" - Online Journalism Review

"Can you please stop making me laugh out loud... I'm supposed to be working, you know!" - Tamsin Tyrwhitt

"Your coverage of stuff as it spills is right on the money." - Mike Woods

"Popbitch with A-Levels." - Tim Footman

"In an inbox full of trite work-related nonsense, TFT shines from under its subject heading like the sun out of Angus Deayton's arse." - Nikki Hunt

"A first rate email. It's become an integral part of my week, and my life would be empty and meaningless without it (well, *more* empty and meaningless anyway)." - Mark Pugh

"Genius, absolute bit of class. And you can quote me on that." - Lee Neville

"If you're hipper than hell, this is what you read." - MarketingSherpa

"The most entertaining email I've had all week. Great tone." - Matthew Prior

"A massive and engrossing wit injection." - idiotica.co.uk

"I wouldn't know satire if it bit me on the arse. But I did like the Naomi Campbell joke." - Matt Kelly (The Mirror)

"Has had an understandably high profile among people who know about these things." - Guy Clapperton (Guardian Online)

"Satirical sideswipes at the burning issues of the day." - Radio 5 Live

"Puerile and worthless... Truly fabulous... Do read the whole thing." - Stephen Pollard

© The Friday Thing 2001-2008 - All Rights Reserved