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Home > World

The TFT Guide To... Drugs at the Olympics

It's the Olympics again, which over the years has become an artificial stimulant binge that makes Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas look as tame as a Junior Dispirin party. So what can we expect from this year's drug-fuelled games?

20 August 2004

1) Kite-flying event won by Greek team, using one of their athletes tied to a string.

2) American sprinter explodes after running the world's first two second mile.

3) Athletics events now to include not only the high jump, but also the buzzing long-jump, the paranoid triple-jump and the totally fucking mashed 1,500 metres.

4) Fast walking events come to a halt as stoned competitors collapse with the giggles, finally realising how silly they look.

5) New event, 'international drug-taking', introduced. Britain wins gold medal as Bez from the Happy Mondays becomes our newest sporting hero.



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