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Home > World

Remembering Nineleven

10 September 2004

Brent Moffat has been sticking bits of metal in himself for years. That's his thing. It's what he does. Probably for similar reasons to other self-harmers, as a way of coping with some ghastly unbearable emotional trauma or other. Like that woman on that documentary years ago who cut off her own nipples and flushed them down the loo. Oh God. We wish we hadn't thought of that. It still makes us feel ill. What a world.

Anyway, Moffat is known as the Human Pin Cushion. At the beginning of 2003 he stuck 700 needles in himself. At the end he did 900. He's in the Guinness Book of World Records. The guy is so fucking special. Tomorrow, as you may be aware, is September 11th, and to mark the anniversary of TTEOSE, Moffat has decided to have a whopping 3000 bits of metal stuck in his body. 3000 of course being the number of the dead. Well, more or less.

What greater or more fitting tribute could the victims of the atrocities, and their grieving families, possibly hope for? Four tattoo artists will start sticking Moffat from 9.46am, the very moment the first of the planes smashed into the tower. "This is in no way a financial or political statement," Moffat explained, "but a remembrance of the lost men and women due to a senseless act of violence." Senseless acts of violence you see, are Moffat's speciality.

In the face of such indomitable spirit, those towel-headed evildoers will never dare pull such a wicked stunt again.

Thankfully, and unsurprisingly, Moffat is not the only one keen to commemorate the suffering and life-loss of nineleven. All over the world, ordinary people will be doing extraordinary things to remember the dead:

- In Perth, Australia a 3000-strong choir of yoga students will chant 'Om' for 50 minutes (3000 seconds).

- In Manchester 3000 pigeons will be baked into 911 dirty great pies and given to the homeless.

- In Barcelona a group of 911 students are planning to share out 3000 ecstasy tablets and dance till world peace is declared, or until they collapse, whichever comes first.

- In Lisbon 3000 white feathers will be used to tickle 3000 babies

- In New York itself 3000 twins (that's 1500 pair of twins) will balance on one another's shoulders and then, with balletic grace and to the accompaniment of 3000 hoover bags being opened below, fall screaming to the ground.

And you - what will you do?


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